Whenever I say goodbye to my grandmother, she responds with “BE CAREFUL WHEN CROSSING THE STREET!”

I can’t help but laugh a little, because Hong Kong isn’t exactly the traffic jungle capital of the world (though it can shock you if you’re new to city life).

In fact I always considered London, New York and Los Angeles’s drivers the scariest in the world: like Ronald McDonald behind the wheel (Yes, I still hate him).

I remember dad’s rented car getting hit by two illegal Mexican migrants — they had no visa or license — while driving on the highways in LA. Not fun. 

In LA, driving isn’t easy especially because there’s so much going on at the same time. In Canada, the worst thing that could happen is a moose or deer crossing the street.

That’s why signs are perched on the side of the road as a warning to drivers. In LA, expect to see large yellow signs with little pictures of illegal migrants on them.

As a child, all of that took me a bit by surprise, especially when I visited New York where drivers would roll down their windows and scream obscenities at other drivers or whistle at hot chicks.

These experiences led me to believe that driving in New York or LA was equivalent to jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.  

That is, until I lived in Shanghai, a city that should install at every major intersection the sign I just created above: Be careful of anything that moves.

Find out how to develop peripheral vision

*WARNING: Readers’ discretion is advised. For those with naturally vivid imaginations, heed caution as this post may disturb you.

One of the worst weeks of my life happened in London, my favourite city of all time.

Some, being mostly my parents, say I totally deserved it.

Why? Because during my first month in England I ate everything and I mean everything and anything I could get my hands on (mainly because most of it was free).

I ate lots of hor d’eouvres; drank red wine, then sipped some white wine; then devoured finger foods; then drank more red wine; then stuffed my face with cafeteria food; then mixed that in with creamy cakes; then downed a few veggie burgers at the Borough Market; then swallowed presumably bad milk; then…

I collapsed. (All of this took place over a few weeks, not a few days).

Read on for special cure

On my way to Central today, I spotted – among other questionable things – a 30-odd-year-old Chinese man carrying a gym bag around his shoulder. Normal right?

No. Not at all.

Why? He didn’t just carry any old, crumpled gym bag like most Westerners do when they travel or go out. His bag, by contrast, bore the most famous monogram known to humankind: LV.  

GASP. Fake or real, I don’t care. I nearly vommitted because it made him look womanly, and I highly doubt he woke up this morning hoping to come off that way.

Then it hit me. This is the norm in Hong Kong.

Find out why LV bags suit older men

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw this.

Yes, books bought by the weight. 15-18RMB per 500 grams.

This street is filled with book stores, including the one pictured above and a 7-storey building packed with Chinese and foreign books.

Books published outside of China are expensive unless you hit shady stores such as the one featured in the above photo. A few pages might be published upside down, but who cares? It’s 13RMB versus 100 RMB!  

Read on for location!

Mother once said, “Denise, if you keep eating ‘mantou‘ you’ll turn into one!”

I guess this is how my trip in Shanghai will end: physically morph into the shape of a bun. Wherever I go I see man tous: dogs in the shape of a mantou, cars in the shape of a mantou and even pot bellies in the shape of a mantou (though this resemblance isn’t that far off).

But, that being said, I can’t help it. I’d give up George Clooney for buns. You would too (dudes would give give up Jessica Alba).

Fans of sweets and buns would gawk with the sight of anything round and colourful here. My obsession with round buns led me to this…

Take Mochi as a fine example of a golf-ball shaped dessert that looks like a mantou but frozen and sweeter. A Japanese delicacy, Mochi is a confection made of pounded sticky rice and with ice cream fillings too.

When you buy one, let it sit in the bag for at least seven minutes to cool down. The texture should be soft and chewy when you bite into a Mochi.

Every time I eat one, I want to dance to the tune of Feist’s Mushaboom.

Mochi flavours include…

Show me more!

The other day, I went to London, toured around the city and took some fantastic photos. 

Three hours later, I returned to Shanghai city.

Don’t believe me?

Find out whether it’s real or fake!

The first time I ventured into the wonderful Garden of Yu, a bouncy, short and dark-skinned Chinese man raced up to Australia and I as though he’d known us beforehand.

It turns out he and Australia had already been acquainted the week before.

“You remember us?” Australia asks him in Mandarin. He simply nods in agreement. He’s a great salesman, this man, because he knows exactly why locals and even expats even come here.

“You want to see the fake market?” Australia asks me. “You don’t have to buy anything.”

She’s right; I don’t want to buy anything. And yet, I am curious to see what the fuss is all about.

So off we went, towards the dark and shady alleyways.

It gets creepier…

When you gotta’ go, you gotta’ go: An important lesson I learned after using the most putrid bus toilet enroute to Paris from Utrecht, NL.

One of the biggest culture shocks an expat might experience is the sheer abundance of squat toilets here in China and across Asia.

Rather than installing actual toilets – the ones we use in Western countries – some (mostly older) areas feature bathrooms with dug-out holes. For an in-depth history, pros versus cons list, plus fantastic samples of more ‘high-tech’ squatters, click here.

This bathroom experience requires the desperate user to squat while doing business. As Wikipedia put it (I cracked up – seriously no pun intended – while reading this):

“It does not involve any contact between the buttocks and thighs with a potentially unsanitary surface” and “absence of water avoids water splashing upwards.”

For those of you who’ve never used a squatter toilet, rest assured: It’s not as bad as it sounds or looks, though Wikipedia also writes that squatting “requires certain balancing skills” – it really does – and may pose as a challenge for those recovering from leg injuries.

But after a few crouches you’ll realize its benefits. Ladies, not only will you lose weight from crouching, you’ll also understand what it feels like to be a man.

As for you dudes out there: Just be a man and suck it up.

Here are some steps to assist you in the event of toilet culture shock:

Find out how

What: Peking Style Charcoal Hotpot老北京涮肉生活
Where: 百联又一成8楼 (the mall with Muji, across from the Food Mall)
Metro station: Wujiaochang (五角场)

On a day that hit 40 degrees Celsius (105°F), America and I decided to pursue a somewhat dangerous activity: eat Hot Pot.

A risk worth taking, I must confess: Peking Style Charcoal Hotpot snatches top spot on my list of “Best places to eat in Shanghai.” Sorry Din Tai Fung, you just got demoted (though the view of the Bund there is still number 1). (See “Confessions of a Dumplingholic” and “A Tale of Two Menus“)

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Hot Pot is basically a Chinese cuisine that serves raw food that you must cook by yourself. You do this by tossing the raw veggies or meat into a large pot.

A real do-it-yourself style of eating, Hot Pot satisfies the stomach and body on a cold winter’s day. And yet, we decided to do this on the hottest day of the year.

But thanks to air conditioning, a beautifully furnished setting and two bottles of beer, we forgot about the heat.

Thank goodness I ate here before leaving Shanghai. Even 24 hours later, I’m still overwhelmed with exhaustion and delight: exhausted because of how much I ate and delighted by the taste and experience.   

Find out why this tops them all

Remember my friend with the Mandarin homework?  Click here for a refresher.  Well – Hwkboy – as we will call him for blogging purposes, just emailed me this pretty cool concept from China – the Superbus.

Superbus is China’s attempt to combat its massive, child-restricting population, along with the increasing amount of compact cars.

The Superbus is a bus that, get this – hovers over moving passenger cars driving on the highway as it travels along the specially designed tracks on the highway.

The bus will run by a combination of solar power and “recharges” as the bus moves along the passenger terminals above ground.

There are sensors both behind and inside the bus to prevent cars from hitting it.  Apparently, when cars get to close to the bus, the police will automatically be alerted.  But I’m curious: how will “alerting” the police prevent a drunk driver from ramming into the bus?

For safety purposes, ramp-like slides similar to those used on airplanes will allow passengers on board to slide out in case of emergencies.

Construction is rumored to begin later this year.  Is this an innovative concept or a disaster waiting to happen – either way, I think it’s pretty cool.

Click here for an animated video of the Superbus – sorry folks, it’s only in Mandarin.  For more info, click here.